Ask Yourself This When You Want To Give Up

There’s an alternative to asking “Why?” in times of frustration and doubt

Nobody goes through life without feeling beaten down.

Life is hard, and getting your act together takes a lot of work.

Everyone who strives toward anything will experience the frustration of investing their energy and not seeing results.

In these moments, it is entirely understandable that people in a defeated state of mind may ask the eternal Earth-Shattering question: “Why?”

Why should I bother?

Why should I continue to write?

Why should I go to the gym so much?

Why shouldn’t I just give up and do something easier?

The worst part about these questions is that there is not an obvious answer to them. If one finds themselves with many of these questions that they can’t easily answer, they are at risk of becoming nihilistic.

Nihilism is the belief that life is meaningless, senseless, and useless. It’s a real problem because the refutation of it is not always obvious.

This is the voice of nihilism.

If people encounter these types of questions in a dark period when they don’t have a strong support system, they can lose hope and become resentful.

We may not always have good answers to our “why questions,” but in these moments we can ask a different question instead.

We can look to the inverse of why.

Instead of asking why, how about:

“Why not?”

You’re here, as a human being on planet Earth.

It may not make much sense, but it’s real. Even if we’re all just part of a computer simulation created by a future super-civilization, your experience is still real.

You’ve got this life, and it’s an opportunity to test yourself, to learn and grow, to go on an adventure and see what you’re really capable of. And it’s true that you are just a sentient bag of meat and bones and that there may be no purpose to all of this, but why the hell not stand up and try anyway?

What else are you going to do, nothing? Indulge in simple pleasures and not try?

That sounds extremely boring.

You may struggle to have a good answer for why sometimes. But you also won’t have a good answer for why not.

And why not focus on “why not” instead of “why”?

Adventures are not supposed to be easy. Adventures are not supposed to be predictable or comfortable. If in your trying moments you feel defeated — and the crushing existential weight of “why bother” falls on you, rebut it with “Why not?”

Why not go on the adventure of your life? It’ll be far more interesting than opting out.

I believe that it is accepting the responsibility to take on this adventure that provides us with meaning and purpose.

In “The Happiness Hypothesis,” Jonathan Haidt writes that instead of inquiring about the purpose of life, it is better to inquire about how to live in a way where we find purpose within life.

When we voluntarily accept the adventure to find out what we are capable of doing by trying our best, we find meaning and purpose within that journey.

The Hero’s Journey is an archetypal story that is found in virtually all civilizations. The concept that living well must involve self-actualization, overcoming obstacles that stand in our way, and fulfilling our potential is a Great Idea — it is ancient wisdom.

We all have our dark moments. We all have moments where we feel like our efforts aren’t working and that we should call it quits. We have moments where “why should I bother” questions seem to be especially pertinent.

We all ultimately need to discover “our why”, but when it is difficult to summon a meaningful answer, ask “why not” instead.

You’re here, and you may as well be as epic as you can and become the best that you’re capable of being.

It’s much more interesting than the alternative.