This Habit is Cancer to Personal Growth

This week at a glance:

When I first got into self-improvement, I avoided being realistic like the plague. I constantly overstretched and put too much on my plate.

I learned to drill the habit of not following through, and this created a devastating effect on my mental health and productivity.

I believe the key to this challenge is understanding the right context for being realistic.

Being realistic in the correct context doesn’t mean settling for mediocrity.

Today, I’m sharing the nuanced approach to being realistic that has tripled my productivity (and happiness).

The global fitness industry is worth over 100 billion dollars.

That’s 100 billion dollars basically telling people to move more and eat less.

Okay — exaggerating the simplicity a bit.

There’s a lot more to getting (and staying) in shape.

But it illustrates an interesting quirk about human nature:

In all walks of life, knowing what to do is only a small part of success.

Generally, people know the bad habits holding them back.

They know what they need to do to grow their business, stick to their content creation schedule, or lose that final 5 pounds.

The challenge is when the present version of themselves has to cash the check their past self wrote.

No matter what your goals are, whether you’re steeped in hustle culture, trying to out-earn Bezos, or whether you’re content with a simple life, your ability to be accountable to your past self determines your quality of life.

The accountability to create (and stick to ) a vision separates people who live intentionally from those who get blown around by chance circumstances.

According to Seneca (the Roman Stoic), it’s the difference between living and existing.

The habit of writing checks that your future self can cash and consistently cashing those checks is a non-negotiable skill for getting the most out of life.

But the problem here is that this involves being realistic, and realistic is the most unsexy concept in self-improvement.

“Suggestionitis”

I fell for the trap of hating realistic when I first got into self-improvement.

I was knee-deep in hustle-culture-infused motivation porn, crushing David Goggins videos and beating myself up in the gym.

My to-do list was loaded with all the important lever-moving tasks I would crush seven days a week.

But there was a slight problem.

I could never get through it.

I was in a constant state of overstretching, overlooking the tiny detail that I was a human being who, to operate at peak performance, needed rest and decompression.

The result was a bad habit I’m embarrassed to say held me back for years.

I call it “Suggestionitis.”

Suggestionitis is when you get so used to not completing the tasks you set out for yourself that you normalize not following through on your word.

You drill the habit of falling short so much that it becomes the norm, and your to-do list becomes a suggestion list.

And it’s not just limited to tasks and chores.

I developed a weak resolve for accountability in all areas of life.

I would constantly push back the days when I would start a diet or workout program.

I would set financial plans I wouldn’t stick to.

Morning routines got abandoned.

It was bad.

I lost faith in myself to execute, so I couldn’t trust myself to deliver on my word.

This is suggestionitis.

You have no control over your life if you’re struggling with suggestionitis.

Sure, you can plan.

You can set goals.

But planning is writing checks that you have to cash in the future.

If you fail to cash these checks so often that it becomes a habit, they become worthless.

You can’t reliably plan for projects, getting in shape, or anything else.

The end of this cycle isn’t easy, and it’s not sexy.

It involves being realistic.

Above all else, you need to build the habit of following through on your word. That means writing checks that you’ll be able to cash.

Instead of putting 18 things on your to-do list for the week, dial it down to 2 or 3. Identify the most important things you need to do to make progress and focus on these.

Everything else can wait.

The problem is that being “realistic” is like leprosy in the self-improvement world.

This is a tweet in a thread from Nicolas Cole, one of the top digital writers online.

This sentiment is all over the place.

We’re all supposed to want more, never settle, and have crazy audacious big hairy goals to own the world and make a dent in the universe, or whatever the hell Steve Jobs said at that commencement speech.

We take this attitude and plan ourselves into oblivion, constantly stretching to our breaking points.

This doesn’t always happen, but it can.

It happened to me.

The key is to recognize and integrate the different types of realistic that work in harmony with each other.

Long-term Unrealistic/Short-term Realistic

Sahil Bloom put a twist on this popular Bill Gates quote that I love:

This quote contains the answer to the issue of being realistic: you need to be realistic in the short term but not in the long term.

You need to stop overestimating what you can do in a day to build momentum and achieve unrealistic long-term results.

When a writer like Nicolas Cole condemns being realistic, they’re condemning being long-term realistic.

They condemn living small, being afraid to pursue a big vision, and falling short of your potential.

But to get to the unrealistic results on a scale of years and decades, you need accountability.

You need to trust yourself to follow through on the thousands of little actions that compound into an epic result over time.

You need to stop overestimating what you can do in a day so that you build up accountability, start stacking wins, and create momentum.

With the momentum that comes from continually executing and following through, your results will compound, and you’ll make progress toward your unrealistic long-term vision.

But too many people don’t do this. They fall for the trap of overestimating what they can do in a day — being short-term unrealistic, leading to stagnated growth over time.

The Solution

Don’t see it as a weakness to plan more modestly.

Resist the urge to constantly push yourself to your edge and put too much on your plate.

To build the habit of following through to build accountability and self-trust, you need to write checks you can cash.

Allowing time to rest and planning your days realistically isn’t a weakness.

It’s smart.

Condemnation of being realistic applies to long-term realistic.

Fuck being long-term realistic.

But to achieve your big-ass version, you have to trust yourself.

If you develop suggestionitis and lose faith in yourself to follow through, your long-term goals are doomed.

Embrace short-term realistic to be long-term unrealistic.

Don’t overextend yourself.

Allow time to rest and decompress.

Build the habit of treating your world to yourself as law.

Do this by only committing to what you can deliver.

When you’re ready, here’s how you can work with me.

I want to help you build sustainable habits to optimize your health, fitness, & mindset so you can thrive in life.

If you’re tired of spinning your tires, failing to get results, and wondering what you’re doing wrong, apply for 1-1 coaching now.

Results are guaranteed.

You’ll hit your goals, or I’ll work with you for free until you do.

-Colin “Follow through on your word” Matson